Your Spouse Has a Next Season, Too
By MyNextSeason Co-Founder and Senior Partner Dr. Leslie Braksick
Anxiety that so often accompanies an executive’s transition—such as retirement—manifests itself in questions deep inside: Who am I now? What will I do next?
Most of us define ourselves by our careers and job titles. The thought of these going away, especially in cases where there is little lead time to prepare, can be paralyzing. Who am I, if I am not the (title) at my company?
What is often forgotten is that spouses and partners—especially those who have foregone careers to be the at-home parent-in-charge—experience the exact same stressors. Who am I, if I am not Susan and Johnny’s mom, the Parent Advisory Chair, the Football Booster Club Marketer, the Nurse to the Sick, and the Mender of Broken Hearts? How will I spend my days after the kids are gone?
Spouses/partners—who have dedicated their lives at home while their partner pursues his/her career, who have actively parented the children, who have been a trusted advisor to the executive through corporate lifecycles and leadership challenges—also go through a huge career transition when the last child leaves the nest.
In fact, it is no less difficult for the spouse/partner to navigate this transition than it is for the executive. The only difference is that there are no retirement parties, no formal honors and recognition of contributions, no gifts nor plaques for the differences they have made for their decades of selfless service.
Deciding what to do next isn’t easy for anyone who has enjoyed success in his or her main-stage career, whether in the workplace or the home space. Recognizing that this is a huge transition for both members of a couple is an important first step. Empathy and encouragement need to flow generously in both directions.
The silver lining of this season, beyond just hairlines, is that the closing of oft-used doors unlocks possibilities behind doors not yet opened. This is a time for each of you to pursue your passions and make a difference in the world through your intervention in it. Whether it be through volunteering for a non-profit, mentoring others, being (more) present for neighbors, friends, and family members, or finally pursuing dreams and desires that you have kept at bay while you have lived for your work, this is a season of unlimited possibilities in a world with great needs.
Each of you has had an incredible run in the decades preceding this transition. Wisdom has been gained; valuable experiences have been had. Deciding how to channel these gifts with intentionality and achieve greater purpose because of them, as well as passion from them, is the important work to be done in planning your next season. It is an important next season for you both. Enjoy it and celebrate it. Together.
Portions of this article were previously published in Smart Business Pittsburgh.
