MyNextSeason

Just Leanne

A few weeks after my retirement, my husband found me crying in our closet. I felt so lost and I remember thinking, “What’s next? How are we going to do this?” Later, I realized I wasn’t afraid of being unhappy, I was anxious because I built my entire identity around my professional position, and now I was just going to be Leanne.

Resounding silence

Figuring out my identity without my corporate title was a huge reinvention. “If I’m not a CEO, who am I?” The thought of no longer getting up at 4:30 in the morning to go check email was such a strange concept. Even stranger was the fact that when I did go check, there was nothing there. The day immediately after my retirement, there were no emails. Nobody called to ask me questions or get my advice. I thought, “How can I go from being involved in making every critical decision, and in the blink of an eye, I’m no longer even invited to the meeting? Nobody wants my input? How did this happen?”

I had to take some time to figure out what I liked doing and create a plan to build a new sense of self that wasn’t only rooted in my career.

Finding clarity

I thought after I retired, I would have all this wonderful free time to do all the things I want to do. Then I realized I had been doing everything I wanted to do, and I had the daunting task of coming up with a new list.

I was lucky enough to have the support of MyNextSeason during this time. And I truly feel like it saved my life—from an emotional as well as  physical perspective. Working with my advisor brought such clarity. I think in times of transition it is so crucial to have an environment where people can have those darkest, deepest conversations in the sanctity of confidence, and with somebody who’s empathetic. It felt like the greatest medicine of all.

Rooted in purpose

After lots of reflection and work, I realized what I love most is helping people. I was struck by the reality that now I get to choose who I work with and can nurture relationships that bring me joy. I made an intentional effort to find and create opportunities to collaborate with people I like on issues that align with my priorities.

To keep clear sight of those priorities, I drew myself a tree and included three branches representing the areas I wanted to focus on in my next season: business relevancy, inspiring future generations, and paying it forward.

I still use my tree to evaluate opportunities and divide my time. And I’m proud to say that I have found activities that fill each branch. I serve on two public boards and as an advisor to a large private equity firm, which keeps my business acumen engaged. I am a MyNextSeason Advisor and work with several universities which allows me to mentor next generation leaders. I also work with different groups focused on advancing women—from a policy perspective to mentoring—paying it forward and passing along insights that have shaped my own journey.

Give grace and grieve

If I could give advice to someone facing a big transition it would be to give yourself grace—your title is gone, your schedule and crazy to-do lists are gone. There’s a grieving process that must happen. You’re grieving your old life and now you have to start anew.

I felt like a commodity when no one called that very next day. It hurt. But I reminded myself that in any role, our job is to leave it better than we found it, and the next person will do the same. It’s not personal, it’s the natural progression of a job well done. Finding new purpose and a new everyday cadence is a process and it’s different for everyone. Be kind to yourself.

Choosing the good

If I could be with that Leanne in the early days, who was upset and unsure, I would give her a hug. I would reassure her that her brain won’t melt away. She’s going to find ways to stay relevant and really help people. I am a believer that every morning we make a choice: to have a good day or a bad day. And of course there will be some bad days, but there is so much more opportunity for good if we look for it. Now, when someone asks me for my title, I smile and say, “My name’s Leanne.”