No Place for Should

Keep the “S” word out of your next season thinking

Acquisitions and job transitions are hard enough without the “helpful” advice generously doled out by former colleagues, neighbors, relatives, and friends. Such advice usually includes the “s” word: should.

Those intending to be helpful seem to have an abundance of “shoulds”: “You should start a business.” “You should call my brother.” “You shouldn’t turn down that offer.” “You should downsize and simplify your life.” “With your experience, you really should . . .”

Seems like everyone has a “should” to offer you, and all that serves to do is add another “s” word to your life: stress.

There is no place for “shoulds” when it comes to preparing and planning for your next role. The “should” ball will be thrown at you, but don’t catch it. Let it fall to the floor. You don’t own what you don’t catch.

Each person’s life will unfold differently, based on so many factors. These include personal needs and desires, life goals, constraints (personal, financial, health, geographic), gifts and interests, career experiences, connections/networks, etc. You don’t need to accept someone else’s view or advice about what you “should” or “should not” do. You are the best expert on you.

Pause and reflect on what you feel called to do. You have worked hard and earned the right to think through and choose what you want to do next, what feels right to you, what brings you joy, where you want to put your skills and experience to work next. And as important as anything is the recognition that you are really deciding only on your next role . . . not your forever next season.

Each phase of your life is defined, governed, and enabled by so many evolving and changing factors, including unexpected job changes. Accepting that these factors are quite often beyond our control is the key to finding peace during times of uncertainty. Our eyes do not allow us to see around corners, which is why we think about our future in seasons. Just as seasons change, so do our lives.

Don’t allow yourself to be artificially constrained by someone else’s “should” regarding what your next position looks like. Rather, keep your aperture open wide for as long as you can, contemplating and examining the unlimited possibilities. You have earned the right not only to evaluate your options, but also to fully capitalize on the tremendous experiences and learnings you have had in your career up to this point.

Most importantly: become deaf to the word “should.” It is your life and only your life. There are no “shoulds” in that.

Portions of this article were published in Smart Business Pittsburgh, April 2016.